Monday night with Mama. Checkers in front of the fire. It is gray and rainy and windy; blustery, as Winnie the Pooh would say. A fire is always a good idea if it is raining and below 60 degrees.
Mama and I used to play checkers quite often. We hadn’t played for a couple of months so I thought it was time. What a difference that time has made.
The last time we played, there was continual reminding that she was the pretty red checkers and she could move only those. She got it. And obviously, the game came back to her because she whupped me pretty good, even doing double-jumps that I honestly did not see.
Tonight it was different. Tonight she could not remember the rules. I told her them every time it was her turn. She got very confused. However, she did somehow end up with a checker on my side, front row, which of course, means getting “kinged”. That must have stuck somewhere in her head because she looked at me and said: “Don’t I get a crown?” I laughed. “You sure do”, I said.
The game was going on for more than an hour and half so I eventually manipulated the board until she could jump doubles over me, at will. She smiled when I told her she whupped me again.
Everything with Mama takes a long time. Making dinner with her is an undertaking. She needs to be told many times to put the vegetables into the pan, add a little salt and pepper, then stir till they are warm. The simplest tasks take large chunks of time.
Singing songs from the hymnbook takes time because she can’t remember which ones we already sang. So, we sing them all again.
Getting ready for bed takes time because she does not understand which clothes go where.
I took time with my three precious boys when they were young, to teach them about kitchen things; washing and drying dishes, sweeping the floor.
Getting ready to go anywhere took time to get them dressed; finding the right socks, the right shoes.
We played the same games over and over. We read the same books again and again. It was a joy and it was a privilege.
That is how they learned. That is what grew them. Time and patience and love.
And now I am teaching Mama that there are still things she is able to do. As usual, the teacher learns. Every time I am with her I learn something new about myself.
It is a beautiful merry-go-round.